Most Common ICC Blunder Leads to Epaulette Mate

 Blitz Player rf(Robert Fischer diehard fan probably)  usually crushes me, but today he blundered trying to castle Queenside. I don't have incontrovertible proof, but with the center wide open he moved his Queen to d1 rather than TRIPLE O.

Do you see the mate in 2 in the position below with Black to move?  Rc1 attracts Whites rook to that square and then mate at d2 for the shouldered White Monarch. Note that Epaulette Mates would NOT BE THING if two pieces could occupy same square!

So, Yup attempted castling is the most common blunder. I guess some people just can not get used to King being able to move two squares.

Two Distinct Mating Patterns Decide this Sloppy Contest

 Norwegian Chess player Mark Fatty Thomas(markfattythomas) was in poor form lucky for me since he usually chews me up and spits me out Marvin Huckaby style.

The ICC blitz player when in for a piece sacrifice which was unsound owing to his ultra aggressive mood I suspect.

In the above diagrammed position White had a mate in two which is an enormous amount of information rendering this a trivial tactic to find. Problem in the game is the combatants HAVE TO KNOW IT IS A MATE IN 2 rather than sitting around on their couch in this Delta Mutation hell with a captioned position to work from.

White instinctively castled not noticing the forcing mate in 2 variation. The motif of two mating patterns simultaneously is what decides the game quickly

Thematic King's Indian Bishop Sacrifice

 Was reminded of an old chess friend from Houston, Texas in the following game. Mick Bighamian(USCF rating of around 2400 at the time) said something that really stuck in my mind. The specificity of his claim made me realize that Chess players are really inveterate nerds. "when the unmoved c8 Bishop sacrifices itself at h3 the result of game is frequently, if not always, in favor of the second player". Now that may not be exactly the way Mick phrased it, but if he reads this I am sure he would agree with the paraphrasing. He had close to a photographic memory for positions which is a big part of the reason he was a senior master and one of the top 5 or so players in Bayou City. 

Another master from the region, Todd Thomas, penned an accurate quote in the Texas Knights monthly periodical stating that the late Robert Brieger was on chess nerd fringe in the same fashion that chess nerds are on the fringe of society at large. Todd was lampooning Brieger for making a big deal about the difference between the terms Zugzwang and Squeeze. Funny how certain things just stick in your head!!

So check out the position, arising from a Dutch Defense,  where Mick's always winning move wipes out Australian player Pritoka. After Bxh3, the f8 Rook occupies f3 square with fatal consequences. The Black king regicide is only avoided by the 9 pointer giving herself up. 

I do love this kind of position where an "undeveloped piece" is actually the most active force on the board! This actually shows how the nebulous concept of development as it is taught sometime in middle school as "just getting you pieces out" is quite mistaken.

Would like to close by paying tribute to the now defunct Dave's Chess Studio. Lotta good times there around 20 years ago, but alas the inconstancy of friendship and life getting in the way prevails. 

Take another look at this Drawn Bishop wrong color ending!!!

 Any chess neophyte can tell you that if the rook pawn is queening square that is not the some color as opponent's Bishop, the game will be drawn, BUT  let us not forget Lasker's infamous ceteris paribus(what does ceteris paribus mean from Latin-"all things being equal")

Well all things were definitely NOT equal in the following ICC 3 minute blitz game!!!

Note that Black's a6 pawn on a White Square would be Queening on the Black a1 square. Problem appears to be the stand impotent pair commentary since Black's prelate only guards White square diagonals!! 

So I doubt any of you would believe that Black to move it is mate in 10 in the diagrammed position. The give away hint is that Black must let White Queen his pawn on the a8 square.  This involves Black's Rook pawn becoming a Knight pawn and mating White King at a1 with pawn to b2 checkmate!!  Mind you White would have a just Queened pawn at a8 witnessing the Regicide. It is all about mating patterns and having the huge balls to count it out!!

Fortunately for Boaz1775,  this knuckleheaded American did not discover the mate in 10 and lost the game on time. 

Also please note that I am not referencing the dimorphic mating patterns as alluded to in scholarly effort by Guo-Hua Ding, Yun Tang, Zhi-Hua Lin, Xiao-Li Fan, and Li Wei  

Lisitsin Gambit Accident

 I can still remember Mike R. Flewelling exclaiming "I think your opening Sucks!!" despite absurd claims by chess commentator Miodrag Perunovic who ignorantly asserts the From's Gambit refutes the Bird's Opening, Michael knew it was viable opening. Perunovic was probably trying to elevate ad revenue on his YouTube channel with erroneous tripe.

Mike has a very bright daughter named Heather who shared her Dad's love for the Royal Game in Houston,Texas. 

The above diagrammed position details the tragicomedy experienced by ICC blitz player dutsbooi resulting in the dreaded checkmate delivered by the Lady on the g6 square. The poor dude had to stare at the abrasively cruel Qxg6# symbol on the scoresheet to add insult to injury.

 Alex Yermolinsky went public with his justified criticism of Kingside weakening aspect of the Dutch opening which is super amplified by 2. e4 in the Lisitsin's Gambit.  GM Larry Christiansen, who NEVER WAS AN IM,  did some beautiful pre computer engine analysis on refuting the Qd6 variation finding at least a forced draw for White if I recall(nothing to be proud of)

Mating Pawn

 The ICC chess playing engine authors Tord Romstad, Marco Costalba and Joona Kiiski  indicated the following razor sharp position was a Mate in nine.  I should say the Stockfish chess playing program written/coded by  by these geniuses revealed a checkmate in 9 moves.   USA player Schachspieler(German for chess player. I once asked a red hot German girl if she was a spieler and was promptly slapped- I deserved it, but eventually got laid by only her sister) was on the wrong end of this one with the Black pieces

OK back to the less sexually tense  diagrammed position where e6 is the obvious move threatening mate at f7.  Either Rd5 or the suicidal Qd7 prevent mate in one. You all can work out the rest of it. 

BTW Arlen G. Gallo does a nice job of covering mating pawns, but she should drop the weird sound effects on YouTube

Column Mate

 Canadian chess player Joe Don played poorly to let the below position even happen, but it is instructive nonetheless. 

I don't know if Column Mate is widely accepted in chess parlance or vernacular, but that is what happened to Joe this Wednesday night in the USA. Mr Maple Leaf attacked the Black Rook at c6 not realizing his blunder setup a mate in 2 owing to the f3 pawn controlling the g2 escape square.

So, by now, you all see why a simple Queen Sacrifice Forces Joe to tip over his King. Also observe that the Canadian only had his Rook to guard the mating g2 square, BUT that occupied a vital escape square for the entombed White Monarch. 

I am guessing Miss Jessica Era Martin, chess instructor par excellence, would know the name of this mating pattern.

Instructive Mate in Seven

 The following position, resulting from a blitz chess game at the internet chess club, is a Black to Move and Win variety. The title of this article is a dead give away and provides enough information for an average player to figure out the forcing winning line.

BUT, would you discover the mating pattern in a real over the board game had you not been given the elephant in the room hint?  

Notice that White's f2 Bishop and f4 pawn occupy escape squares for the forlorn and isolated Monarch. Also fantasize about the g file being open after your Jonathon Rowson conversation with your h8 rook. Add the g7 Knight to the dialogue. After all, fianchettoed HORSES SUCK.

Breathtaking Drawing Apparatus

The following position actually occurred in 5 minute blitz game at the Internet Chess Club in Pennsylvania United States of America.

So it is definitely White to move otherwise Black b2 pawn promotes to either a Rook or a Lady with mate in two after spite interposition of White Rook to d1. 

Can you see why White can draw due to the breathtaking coordination between the Horse and the Tower? After Nh7 check, Ke8 is answered by Nf6 checking King and simultaneously protecting Rook. Also observe if the Black Monarch stupidly goes to h8 square, Rook h7 is CHECKMATE again with elegant piece coordination!!! 

Mrs Jessica E Prescott, also known as bounding owl, possesses much acumen regarding the nuanced connections between the Knight and the Rook.I believe she is employed by the same entity as Thomas Lucker who is a middle school organizer somewhere in Houston,TX. Rob Lazorchak has a cushy job in NYC teaching chess at charter school and is loved by staff, students and parents alike!!!

 

Stunning Drawing Mechanism stymies United Kingdom Jugadore

 MattF, a strong player out of the United Kingdom, blundered with the natural and apparently winning Queen promoting move b2 in the chess position you see below.

Can you see how why White has a forced draw with the Black b pawn one move away from Queening his pawn with check?!?!?!  The draw is based on the mating pattern on the square h7 where the White Knight both protects the White Rook on h7 and the g8 escape square simultaneously!!!

Also the White Knight at f6 guards the e8 and Rook occupied d7 square to SEAL THE DEAL. AINT IT JUST BEAUTIFUL AND HARMONIZING!!!!!!!  Emanuel Lasker is rolling in his grave about this gorgeously cute drawing mechanism!!!!!

Unstoppable Mate in Four

 CTalin is a tactical beast at the ICC in the USA. I am usually on the receiving end of brutal attacks by this 1857 rated Mikhail Tal fanatic, but today was tactically alert, Larry Christiansen, and was lucky enough to to see a Mate in 4 after the careless Be6 move by Ctalin.

Can you find this mating pattern based on the potentially wide open a1- h8 diagonal and g file? Hint: Look for line opening piece sacrifice where the only way to delay mate involves hanging the Bishop.

Electrical Engineer Mike Peattie has posted some rather dry commentary about sacrificing material at Quora in a way quite common to unimaginative understanding of the concept of material.

Artificial Bank Rank Theme

 Was surprised to discover that Dan Heisman, who took the time to define the nebulous term Accidental Error, would omit the much more substantive definition Artificial Bank Rank. 

That segues us into the following blunder made by ego123, a good blitz player at the internet chess club in Pennsylvania, United States of America. The dude just played the gaffe Nd5 opening the f file for the decisive game ending tactic. 

The artificiality of the back rank mate is made possible by White's g6 Bishop guarding the escape f7 and h7 squares which would normally  be occupied by Black pawns creating a REAL BACK RANK THREAT!!!

IM Bartholomew did an exemplary job of elucidating the perils of not noting the safety of your flight squares. He indicated you can get good at the Royal game by just being air tight on being aware of loose pieces AND understanding the slippery notion of piece communication. D. Gurevich would really go off, especially after a few drinks in Chicago Taverns, about how Gata Kamsky(headcase for a father) understood piece coordination at Carlsonian levels!!!

Cattle Feed as it Relates to our Royal Game

 I can only speculate as to why the former 1998 Nashville, Tennessee city champion chose the name Cornfed for his ICC moniker. I am guessing either his alcohol consumption choice or the cattle he raises has something to do with it! I think I may have played a postal game with him around the time of the Y2K programming run up when planes were supposed to drop from the sky and interest rate calculations were gonna get all F....cked up.

So White just played Qe6 threatening Queen captures e5 Bishop with check. It is not mate since anemic looking f6 square is protected by h4 Queen and f8 Rook. So Black has the time to look for mating patterns himself. Not too hard to notice that Qh2 is curtains for the first player after Ne2 check. 

I also dropped out of correspondence chess after cheating with computers became intractable. BTW grass fed cattle have about 20% less fat than Corn Fed livestock.

Shortest Possible Mate allowed by Ostensibly Sober Chess Player

 A gentleman, who uses the handle Draconian at the Internet Chess Club, allowed the shortest possible checkmate with the moves 1. g4 e5 2. f4 Qh4 MATE  in a 3 minute Blitz game.

History people know that Draco was a harsh ruler and lawmaker, but it was this online blitz player with the high rating who was roughed up pretty bad taking it straight up the poop shoot after playing Henry Grob's horrible looking opening. San Antonio player Psychiatrist John Patty lost to it once at tournament in a Hospital I think. He then needed a shrink, whining and crying how should have punished the guy who had the nerve to play it against a master who had crashed hard into his 2200 floor. Do not think this is the same PHD who puts out his shingle in Oakland, California. 

Erik Kislik shares this writers perception that the Grob Opening sucks a big long one, but stories abound of weekend warriors playing 1. g4   or 1. ... g5 with Black and kicking some ass!

Also T. Gavriel, who loves the word vacuous, faced a strong exponent of 1 g4 but I did not get to see the whole game because of getting swamped by YouTube Ads. It's all good because Kingcrusher has a super sexy voice!

Prayer as it relates to Chess

 I know Brit Nigel Short, in an unprovoked fashion, made fun of Wesley So for praying before an important chess game. As bright as the sadistic King March dude is, he seemed to erroneously assume that the Philippine superstar was praying for victory.

Was reminded of this when I played a buffoon who goes by NeedGodCom at ICC. The hopeless position you see below, arising from the Rubenstein French Defense, was when the Jesus Freak spent 50 seconds in a 3 minute blitz game!

White's Queen is pathetically out of play and his King is about to be gang raped and the preacher kept on thinking or beseeching a higher power to help him out of this suicidal position.

I asked the guy after the game if he was praying during his irrationally long think in rapid chess. The resign button would have been the Christian thing to do don't you think Nigel? I don't think believers in a benevolent God are “superstitious,” “narrow-minded idiots,” but I do think they are cowards who don't realize we are just an animal with an overdeveloped brain who will likely suffer and die with no hope for an afterlife. We have teeth that are good at helping us eat dead animals.  Frat boys prefer anal sex like many other animals that grace this planet. We poop and piss very close to where our offspring pop out.  Sorry GOD does fit in to this scenario GM So. 

Discovered Check Mate

Austrian chess player Wall-Street probably spends more time investing than with his chess development, but he  still threatens mate in one in the diagrammed position in a 3 minute blitz no delay game at the internet chess club based in USA.  Patrick Wolff and Ron Henley traded their GM brains in to become whizzes in financial industry. Wolff used to advertise in Seirawan's mag charging $100 to analyze a black and white game. He quickly realized he could leverage his time 100 fold managing derivative funds. Makes you wonder how many other chess super cerebral types waste all that brain power!! Not sure about Henley who use to be tight with Karpov. Never knew how he wheedled his way into being the boa constrictor's second in some of the world championship cycles. 

Markus Ragger would have been impressed with the mate in 2 that Black has set up which culminates with a discovered checkmate along the h file.White had just played Nc5 threatening mate on the b7 square, but Ng3(blunt force trauma hammer blow to the 1398 player from Austria) check is quite forcing as g1-a7 diagonal is covered by the Lady on d4

An invasive Steed Saves the Day

I figured out why the guy my YouTube account defaults to is so damn popular:

1. He does not babble on while playing out the opening moves like some chess commentators do who pretend to know what the best move is.
2. The dude has the most tranquilizing, soothing voice I have heard.
3. He provides just a dollop of history as he quickly gets to the critical positions of the chess masterpieces he presents 

I wonder what Antonio Radic would think about the following position where Black is down the  exchange with an exposed and apparently vulnerable King. Czech Republic jugadore Nadateho must have believed the game was his after playing the instinctive Qd6 check. 

However, it is White who has to be careful and could easily lose with a careless misstep after Black moves his Monarch to the "safe square" h5. A key feature of the position is White's inactive f1 Rook viz a viz Black's hyperactive Horse! White's error was to ingest Black pawns at the expense of not activating his his f1 Rook. Rowson would certainly scold White for not having intimate cozy conversation with his phlegmatic Tower. White also unnecessarily weakened the f3 square providing a simple goal for the Black Knight. White can draw but has to acquiesce to a perpetual check which is hard to do psychologically when you had been winning the entire game.

Long live Agadmator and his lucrative passive income stream. 3.2 million subscribers to his channel and counting!!

Lifelong Influence of a Beloved Chess Coach

Before I forget, this is a tribute to GM Yury Shulman or Yuri. Sorry chess coach, I don't recall correct spelling. 

I had not thought of this excellent chess and LIFE coach in ages, but was reminded of him by the following position played at the Internet Chess Club.

A little background on how I remember this guy. My nephew Mark attended a college in Fort Worth or maybe Dallas Texas. The college had chess scholarships and while Mark did not earn a scholarship, he learned a lot about the Royal Game from the humble and patient GM who was employed there as a tutor I think. Been awhile so I could be wrong about the specifics. I never met Yuri, but feel like I know him well based on Mark's remarks. Shulman actually helped Mark in life much more than chess if you will tolerate that irony. My nephew was spoiled rotten and thought he was good in chess because he was good at tactics, but sucked pretty bad at long term strategy.

He would show Mr Shulman a game where he had beaten a fish(weak chess player) with piece sacrifices and unsound play. He could not understand why his coach/tutor would berate him, sometimes cursing emphatically that THIS WAS NOT THE WAY TO GET fuckin BETTER AT CHESS!!

Take a look at the above position to see why this reminds me of Dr Shulman. White(blitzen at ICC) has just played Be4 which allows a mate in 9 according to Komodo chess engine. It is based on White carelessly not noticing an elementary mate based on Ng3 and the Bishop owning the g1-a7 diagonal. 

I am certain the esteemed teacher would have given Mark an earful about his inattention to this detail. I want the teacher to know that Mark is quite successful in another field these days and will never forget the good times at the University in the DFW area where a Dr Root also guided him!

Jerome Knew Tactical Based Defenses

There was this old timer who said something like, paraphrased, "He who takes his opponent's Queen's Knight Pawn sleeps in the gutter" God Damned English descriptive SUCKS. 

A dude named Rick Kennedy, who loves gambit play, told me about only fools grab b2,b7, g2,g7 pawns.

So aforementioned scenario happened in a game at ICC in the position you see below. JPF555 from Australia licked his chops for awhile pondering munching White's undefended b2 pawn after he exchanges Towers on the c file. I guess you callem Rooks or Castles in COVID overrun America. A lot of the rest of the world believe Corona originated in the United States.

As it turns out the b2 pawn is tactically defended to borrow the phrase from Larry Christiansen,  Artemiev ,Kenneth John McPherson,Patrick Daly,Cyrus Lakdawala, dude that maintains the path to chess mastery blog, Doctor Fianchetto(christopher.p.bak),Tanmay Srinath and Farmer Darren Walters.

See if you can envision why capturing the b2 pawn, after the c file clears, LOSES? A chess friend named E. Rios says to imagine possible mating patterns and figure out a way to get your attacking units to the right squares. A key to see this relatively easy mate in 3 is to observe the h6 escape square is surveilled by White's g5 pawn.

The letter W related to most difficult of Checkmates

I thought about TunaGobbler from the country of Finland, who was caught cheating at Chess.com, when I finally learned how to mate with a Knight and Bishop against a naked King. Not sure if the cat lover was ultimately banned. I hope not, cuz he is a nice guy and I think the anti cheating software may have fucked up somehow.

Mating with a Knight and Bishop only is simpler than its Byzantine reputation as there are only three key positions you have to know. This may be why Houston TD George John was very good at doing it, and not that good at real chess never having a rating that exceeded 1450 even though the cat was a computer programming genius.

Also much gratitude to the German schachspieler Niclas Huschenbeth for elucidating the importance of the 3 key positions with no unnecessary mention of all the triangles that clueless American commentators annoyingly use. I looked for a paypal spot at YouTube to pay the Grand Master who did a marvelous job of explaining the tedious mating exercise without overwhelming detail about similar triangles in geometry!!! In the name of fairness, Majnu2006 did an above average demonstration dealing with big, medium, and small triangles, however NIclas still wins the teaching trophy!!

The steps are

1. Drive the weaker side's King to edge of board on the Bishop file with Knight adjacent to King.
2. Move the King to the corner, color of Bishop, with a W maneuver.
3. Mate the King in the corner with a variety of mating patterns often requiring multiple waiting moves with either Horse or Bishop. Be cautious about STALEMATES!

1.

2.

                                     I KNOW THAT IS ONE GODAWFUL REPRESENTATION OF A W with                                            vertices at the squares f2 e4 d2 c4 and b2. Geometry Teacher Ms.                                                      Kostecki would love this!! Also note that the 5 W moves will not be made                                            consecutively to allow for the necessary waiting moves averting desperation draws by weaker side!

3.

Finally a subtlety is that this process can happen on all four sides of the board where references to the Bishop file become somewhat meaningless.