You are boycotting this Toilet Paper Company for WHAT REASON?!

 I thought of that cute guy Russ Larrivee who apparently was contemplating boycotting toilet paper company Cottonelle because of its 5 ply product that may appeal to bottom gay guys. Russ may have some not so fond memories of high school showers in gym class. Perhaps he is repressing latent attractions for a guy that was going through puberty and still has some fantasies?

It it nothing to be ashamed of Russ. Go with what is natural.

The following chess position came up in a game with a player named FivePlyGuy who probably just likes thick toilet paper to help keep the feces from getting under his fingernails(Good Hygiene Friends!!). White wins with the pawn rupturing move b5 where the d5 pawn falls and the White Monarch penetrates like the guy on top of the homosexual who also likes thick toilet paper for a completely different reason. 

@rjlarrivee

·

Feb 28, 2019

@cottonelle

, you’re selling toilet paper why do you have to inject homosexuals into your commercials. It’s disgusting. Sell your products to homosexuals but I’m not buying them because being gay is a sin against God! #BoycottCottonelle

Cattle Feed as it Relates to our Royal Game

 I can only speculate as to why the former 1998 Nashville, Tennessee city champion chose the name Cornfed for his ICC moniker. I am guessing either his alcohol consumption choice or the cattle he raises has something to do with it! I think I may have played a postal game with him around the time of the Y2K programming run up when planes were supposed to drop from the sky and interest rate calculations were gonna get all F....cked up.

So White just played Qe6 threatening Queen captures e5 Bishop with check. It is not mate since anemic looking f6 square is protected by h4 Queen and f8 Rook. So Black has the time to look for mating patterns himself. Not too hard to notice that Qh2 is curtains for the first player after Ne2 check. 

I also dropped out of correspondence chess after cheating with computers became intractable. BTW grass fed cattle have about 20% less fat than Corn Fed livestock.

Eloping Female Chess Player Reference

 The made for movies drama involving an American International Master and a Russian female who was using him to get to the USA popped into my mind after this sacrifice the farm game of chess played at the Internet Chess Club. The Russian female later divorced IM Donaldson and married another edgy, easy to irritate  chess player named Orlov who loves to move his Horses before his pawns in the opening. The dude also loved to Tango!!  

Black is already down a piece in the diagrammed position and it is not really clear who is attacking whom in a position where many commentators would just bale with  "chances for both sides". However there is a concrete continuation based on the violent tactical theme of diagonal clearance. The Nd4 is a forcing continuation due to the fork of the Queen and King and the move also threatens the eviscerating Ba4 CHECK!

John wrote some nice annotations where he suffered through a sacrifice the house attack at the hands of the Lexington Lion GM Gregory Kaidanov.  The former employee of Yasser Seirawan also wrote a nice opening tome on the Meran Defense. IM Donaldson is  a good teacher also. 

Letting ones time expire Versus resigning like a Gentleman

 A Canadian chess player with the handle PleaseBlunder, understandably, let his time expire in the following position from a 3 minute blitz game at the Internet Chess Club. The guy probably does not know that Tic Tac Toe is a theoretical draw, but still devotes excessive time to our Royal Game without any discernible improvement in his level of play. 

His e2 Knight is pinned to f2 King with Black Knight capturing weak d4 pawn threatened. Back also has unstoppable passed pawns on Queenside so Black's domination of a very weak player is manifest. 

Tryfon Gavriel writes about dealing with bad sportsmanship OTB and online. Does anyone know why Victoria Fryer promotes B2B business platforms on chess blogs and at Quora? Incidentally Pat Wolff wrote about the thorny ethical questions of letting an opponent's time tick off rather than alerting them. I believe it actually transpired in one of his games against GM Dzindzichashvili. Pat was smart enough to transfer his genius from chess to finance.

The only ethical standard in BLITZ CHESS is the CLOCK

 Norwegian player DTHG  lost this 3 minute blitz game at ICC by exactly 0.1 seconds. Yes, chess fans, he lost by one tenth of second in a contest which is a dead draw in longer time controls. 

As you can see from the score sheet in the diagram below, White shuttled his King back and forth around the passed a4 pawn while avoiding three fold repetition of the position and exploiting the fact the beleaguered jugadore did not have enough time on his clock to claim the obvious draw.  

White had enjoyed an overwhelming initiative in the middle only let the blitz addict from Norway back in the game, so the method of victory was completely justified. In blitz, the only morality is the clock!! Fascinating that clock and COCK rhyme don't you think?! To hell with all you whiners who offer draws when you only have 5 seconds and your opponent over a minute. YOU LOSE because of your time mismanagement and clumsy lack of coordination with mouse slips. 

Note that  Benu Varghese seems to agree that etiquette has no place in online bullet chess where time expiration is the sole determinant of who wins the cerebral struggle.

Horrible Bishop Queen Battery in This Chess Game

 Italian Chess player BlackFlash is a weak player at the Internet Chess Club. I gather he must be a poor man as well based on his finger notes which you can reference below. Italy was the world's first hot spot with respect to the novel Corona Virus. 

Black Flash went for checkmate straight out of the opening which is also indicative of a FISH. The American player punished the unjustified aggression as the below diagram illustrates. Note the extreme impotence of the d6 Queen and c7 Bishop battery attacking its own pawn at e5. There could not be a worse example of piece coordination Dan Heisman. 

The Italian had to resort to desperation by "attacking on the kingside" which further weakened squares around his increasingly exposed Monarch. White played f4 owing to the hanging Rook at e8 All tactical sequences originate from hanging pieces according to tacticians extraordinaire Shabalov, M. Gurevich, D. Gurevich, Yermo, the late Emory Tate,  the curly headed Mexican GM Alejandro Ramirez(UT Dallas), Chuck Charles Diebert, Detroit's Pete Nixon, Shirov, Derek Edmonds, Nathaniel Edmonds, Gary Edmondson,  , Roderick W. Brown(Virginia Rocks!), Rohan Brown(Seminoles of Florida), Garrett Browning(Tarhills!)

1: The search for the truth

 2: better a man of value and knowledge than a man of wealth

 3: learning never ends

 4: genius is eternal patience(Michelangelo)

Shortest Possible Mate allowed by Ostensibly Sober Chess Player

 A gentleman, who uses the handle Draconian at the Internet Chess Club, allowed the shortest possible checkmate with the moves 1. g4 e5 2. f4 Qh4 MATE  in a 3 minute Blitz game.

History people know that Draco was a harsh ruler and lawmaker, but it was this online blitz player with the high rating who was roughed up pretty bad taking it straight up the poop shoot after playing Henry Grob's horrible looking opening. San Antonio player Psychiatrist John Patty lost to it once at tournament in a Hospital I think. He then needed a shrink, whining and crying how should have punished the guy who had the nerve to play it against a master who had crashed hard into his 2200 floor. Do not think this is the same PHD who puts out his shingle in Oakland, California. 

Erik Kislik shares this writers perception that the Grob Opening sucks a big long one, but stories abound of weekend warriors playing 1. g4   or 1. ... g5 with Black and kicking some ass!

Also T. Gavriel, who loves the word vacuous, faced a strong exponent of 1 g4 but I did not get to see the whole game because of getting swamped by YouTube Ads. It's all good because Kingcrusher has a super sexy voice!